Okay I am gonna write this blog in one breathe. I mean well not in one breathe of course not, I don’t think that’s humanly possible lol but I am not gonna go back and check my grammar or fix anything, just gonna keep writing. No backspaces no deletes..
Today, I am going to keep my blog very individualistic and simple. None of those elaborated, dramatic posts that I am famous for lol. This one’s just for me. And many years down the line when I look back and read what I wrote, I want to be happy and I want my future ME to know how the past ME processed thoughts in her mind.
Of the zillion things in life that I want to write about, I would just like to share the random little day I spent yesterday.
Last night I walked as a showstopper for a student designer. Her name is Antee Gurung and is a petite, little sweet thing. My day started with waking up with my two friends (both girls for your info lol) in the same bed. We sort of had a teej party celebration the other nite and there were girls sleeping left and right all over the house- most of them with a hangover btw.
I don’t drink. I don’t drink alcohol as hard it is for many to believe, which I still don’t get. And well I don’t smoke either. But I do agree that I used to judge girls who gets drunk and throw tantrums. Honestly, I don’t like anybody not guy or a girl who does that. I mean drink, have fun, party and go home- please don’t put up a show for the world to see rite!
See! Judgemental. I can be so judgmental at times and I talk about being afraid of people judging me or my blog updates. Hypocrite? I guess we all can be from time to time. So yeah… I will let this subject on being judgemental hanging and will come back here a little later.
So yeah , I woke up. Greeted people as I made my way to the kitchen. Made some breakfast for my self and a few others and sat at the dining table. And then came a, mmm lets call her baini although I am pretty sure she is my age haha. So she came and sat down next to me. She had just gotten a huge scolding from her sister for misbehaving the other nite for drinking too much and not being able to control her high.
She was mumbling something about her boyfriend and how her parents would marry her off if they knew she had a boyfriend and that kinda stuff. And I, as if out of reflex, pitched in , “well, my mom loves my boyfriend. In fact my whole family is kinda fond of him” I said.
“youre so lucky” she said “Mine would kill me if they even got a hint about it.” And then she went on to talk about how her parents used to treat her when she was in school. How they came near to her phone everytime she would be talking to her friends, how they spied on her, how they asked her to get inside the house if there were boys playing football across the street opposite to her house.
Then I suggested maybe if she started working and showing her parenst how independent she can be, they’ll let her be at ease and she says, “ going to college and sleeping all day is how I spend my days. I just wish my future husband’s parents are a little non-strict. I want my husband to be someone who’d be able to take me out for parties once in a while.” She also went on to say, how she doubts she has any skills in her or that she would really be able to work for a living.
Damn! And mind you. She belongs to a well-to-do family with educated parents. But because her parents were so scared that their daughter would astray in bad company they protected her too much – so much that she is now scared of the real world. She has no guts to face whats really out there because that is how she has been brought up. And now her heart seeks a man, much like her parents, who will protect her.
And might I add, of all the girls that were knocked out by alcohol the other night- this girl was the wildest. And it got me thinking, oh my god. I should be thankful that my parents are so liberal and they just let me be me. I started working when I was 17, went out to hundreds of parties and spent time in company of all the fun to all kinds of weird people and yet I don’t drink or smoke or have “drug addict friends” lol. I am not saying that those who drink are bad but in short, I feel I am kinda disciplined and I like to be that way.
And here is this girl who’s been shown and told to live “by the rules of society” – and one who puked more than 5 times that night for not being able to withstand the alcohol she had consumed.
And I felt sad for her. And I felt sad for all the other women, men too but mostly women whom I have snap-judged to be “utter idiots” for letting alcohol have its way and putting up dramas in public places. From now on though I sure wont be putting people into “shameless” category just because they’re putting up a drunken show.After all I have to realize that people hail from all kinds of lifestyles and life situations and perhaps drinking and talking delusional rubbish is all the outlet they get in their life.
Moving on, then I had a meeting scheduled at 1230 yesterday. Barista Lavazza just opened its branch in Nepal in Uttar Dhoka and I was to interview the owner and have him share info about the place. Great place, reasonable prices, ladies please try the mocha frappe -it is to die for.
Fast forwarding further…..then I reached Trisara restro at 2:30 to check out their runway as I was walking as a showstopper for one of the sequences in a fashion show that was to happen that nite. Great show, great audience – I love how interesting fashion shows are picking up in the city..
Fast- forwarding the moments further later in the night, after the show I chose to meet an old friend before I crashed home. And we had this really long conversation but I will share with you the sentence that came out of my mouth that was like a moment of profound realization for me.
We were talking about not changing our nature for somebody else; that we have to be ourselves and I went on to say, “ But I do want to change that part of me because I know its wrong. Trying to change myself doesn’t mean Im trying to be somebody I am not. It only means that I am trying to be a better human being. And I guess that is the purpose of our life. To keep discovering the faults in us and keep knocking them out the park.”
And it was as simple as that. When I started to write my blog about a year ago, I had written this really long description on what my purpose in life is and that as humans we must all find our purposes in life.
After what struck me that night, the only lesson that I have now learned in my life is that as humans we all have just ONE purpose. Our only purpose is to acknowledge the dark side in us, toss it away and choose to become a nicer, a better person. To continuously grow from the realization of all the mistakes we make and mould ourselves to become better humans- that is our purpose.
We can all be mean, greedy, jealous, possessive of others, selfish, lazy bums, gossip-mongers and just pure evil- there is nothing to be ashamed about that, we’re all humans after all. Lets accept that we can all be that. But we must also accept that we have the power to rise above it all too. That we can be utterly kind, loving, respectful, gentle and just plain nice.
And that conversation sealed my seemingly average day in an extradordinary way. And I realized that we don’t need big dramatic events to change the way we think or live. There are teachings in everyday random life.
“Just be nice” is the best lesson I have learnt in all these 25 years that I have lived and perhaps until I find another profound moment of discovery to another secret of life- this will remain the best of advise I can give to anybody who comes along.
So yup, phew! So you see if I have so many things to say about just one day of my life… I cant help but regret about all those days that I never go to share about. I mean writing about our life’s experiences is like capturing a moment in life that will never come back. Years from now, all my blog updates are going to be like these little time capsules where I get to travel back in time and relive that moment again and that is kinda cool don’t you think? And that is why I promise myself to record all my passing thoughts (extraordinary or otherwise) of each passing day, turn them into my tiny time capsules and make them mine forever.
Ahh it feels good to talk through writing :) until my next post, big or small, private or public, I hope you guys continue to be with me in my journey here as a blogger. Wish you all many love and luck in life. Tata <3
|Thats Antee-- the designer in printed black dress|
From left well thats me with sarina, subekshya and priyanka :)