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Tuesday, June 2, 2015

SUBEK means happiness

The name SUBEK for me is happiness. And I am sure everybody who knew him would agree. When we’d hear of SUBEK, it brought smiles to us. That was just the kind of a person SUBEK was.

The first meeting
I was introduced to Subek by my boyfriend, a heli-enginneer, Subek then, was a co-pilot. We reportedly met as a group of friends several times after that, but I never really noticed him (and that’s the kind of a person I am. Too involved with my thoughts, my works, my life. Sucks right!)

It wasn’t until last year, that he and I started to become real friends. Soon, we were buddies—jigris of the first order. 

Tom Cat, Jerry Mouse
If you’d be around us you’d probably use the famous Nepali phrase “kasto musa ra biralo jasto jhagada gareko.”

We loved pulling each other’s legs. He’d tease me, I’d tease him back, we both loved hitting each other witty comebacks—and then laugh, endlessly laugh. I don’t remember a moment, a day, where I might have met my Subek, and we didn’t get to laughing. Like, ‘rolling on the floor’ laughing. He loved sharing happiness.

My popular buddy boy
Subek was so full of life. And everytime he’d come around, we would all feel so much more alive. Subek created our little “Barista Gang” and took upon him to call each of us and invite for a coffee hangout whenever possible after-work. He also created his gang of futsal-enthusiasts of pilots and engineers and arranged a game several times a week. 

Apart from these, Subek, had many such groups of friends—of many I don’t know, but I was aware of. His phones (three of them) wouldn’t stop ringing, or ‘pinging’ with text messages, fb emails or notifications.

He was just friends with, perhaps, everyone he’d ever come across in his life. And he’d make them all feel (like he made me feel) so special—one of his own. Subek was there for everyone, he’d gladly help anyone without a second thought—with him around, life felt safer, better, happier.

The Barista Gang 

My budgeting skills at test
Around the beginning of April, Subek and I caught up after work for an evening meal of some Korean food. I was learning about “money management” and I shared of my newfound knowledge with him. He made a wrinkly face and said, “oi yaar, malai paisa save garna sikana yaar.” We both started laughing.

I drew up a budget sheet for him, and told him how he should segregate his savings, his investments and his expenditure. It never worked. And I am glad it didn’t.

For a 25-year-old, Subek always had a lot of money. And he spent it all on others. Only last week, he was ecstatic to tell me how he had earned several lakhs as his flying allowance during the rescue and relief operations and how he wanted to donate it all back to the victims. It was gestures like these that the made that made us all feel a little too small in front of him.

For as long as he lived, Subek always gave. He gave away his money, his time, his skills, his ears to those who wanted to share their gloom, his shoulders for those who wanted to lean on and cry, his sense of humour to jolly up everyone and his special friendship to all he met.

He was like a dream. Simply the best person, the best friend, one can ever imagine having. And he went away, in matter of moments, just like a dream.
Our Captain Subek 

Subek, the hero
Subek loved narrating his adventurous stories of flight. He really did love his job—how rare is that to find. He would praise the magnificent beauty of our pristine country-side, he would give us animated accounts of how he saved people. Precisely on May 18 as we sipped on our coffees at Herman’s, he walked me through a terrifying account of his almost near-death experience at Sindhupalchowk. “We had reached a remote village squeezed in-between two hills,” he said. “And suddenly one of the hills exploded (perhaps due to an aftershock) and then started a vicious landslide. There were only a few kids and one adult guy around. I got them all inside the chopper to have them fly out to a safer place as the landslide was soon coming towards us. I started the engine of the heli, but it wouldn’t start at all. I tried several times and it just wouldn’t start. I held the kids tight and thought this was the end of my life. The landslide got closer to where we were. But just in time the engine went on. We flew out minutes before the landslide hit us.”

He then showed me a big silver pendant he was wearing (blessed by some guru). “This,” he held up the pendant, “is what saved me that day.” He kissed it and put it back.

That pendant was not to save him the second time.

One last time
Subek and I had planned to go buy some basketball shoes on June 1, but we didn’t. We instead chose to chill out in a road-side teashop outside my office. He was riding his Enfield that day—we both took the opportunity and clicked endless pictures with it to post it on our social medias.

An old man named Durga Dai runs the tea shop, and I told Subek of how he had lost his wife a couple of years ago. Subek then went on and ordered more than he or I could eat—samosas, tea, chhoilas…  “Esto thau haru ma sakdo dherai khaidinu parchha ke bujhis. Uniharulai ekdumai help hunchha,” he said.

This morning
This morning, as I read some papers with the news of my Subek’s demise, it felt so unreal. The tears I had managed to finally hold up, came rolling down again.

Subek always wanted to be a hero. And he was one—a hero of our lives, a hero who ruled our hearts, and a hero who single-handedly saved hundreds of lives through his rescue flights and thousands others with his loving, caring and oh-so-kind nature.

And he died a hero; while on a relief mission.

I don’t know why, but I feel, that he is happy to have lived and died such a heroic life. And that, when us friends had huddled up and hysterically cried, he was right there beside us asking us to cheer up (and even making fun of our swollen crying faces.) And that, when we all saw his body that he had already left for the first time, he was in the room passing a remark on how his shoes were intact (he was always so fond of his shoes, he always wore them new and clean).

Dear Subek,
One of my most treasured friends, the closest one to my heart, I miss you so much. And I regret not ever telling you this in person, but I love you so much. Thankyou for all that you’ve done and been to me. The times I have spent with you were one of the best times of my life. Be my angel now, Subek, show me the right way in life, teach me to be more like you.

I know you’ll always be around. I just know it. Stay happy, spread your joy to all those ‘on the other side.’ We shall all join you one day, some day. And we shall have our Barista gathering there.

Your Uncle Sam loves you. We all love you. 

P.S. “Khub hero bhais.”

Of what would be, our last viber conversation. He always knew how to make me laugh.  
He loved his bike. And I am glad he got to ride it one last time. So, glad he came to meet me one last time too. 

Being silly with Subek <3

Subek loved sports. Futsal and Basketball were his favorites. 


  1. Such a touching post, Samriddhi, Subek's soul will rest in peace, and his acts will continue spreading joy for years to come.

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  3. woah! Such a friendship story but felt bad to hear about untimely occurred tragic..Hope his frens and family are staying strong

  4. oh subek subek..subek and i were best friends during the last 3 years of school..malai tha nadee philp pilot padhna gakole i was very angry with him..after returning he called and said" ta reesako ma sanga..na reesa na muji kya khatra pilot vayera ako chu ma..yekdin talai halera ghumaula ni" aba kaheley ghumnu tero chopper ma ma. One day achaanak he called me and said 'oi tero ghar mathi bata audaichu kausi ma ayera bass" ma basey tara he never came pachi rout change vo vanera call garya thyo..aba kaheley auda ni audaina..kahley pani farkera mero sathi..mero subek.

  5. This is such a painful post and it breaks my heart to learn about Subek Dai's death..Though I never knew him in person,it feels wonderful to know about what a wonderful soul he was..Hope he rests in peace now and is always watching over you..RIP

  6. Reading at this blog, it makes me wonder, this guy was such a cool dude and yet he is no more. Rest in peace.

  7. How I wish bad things didn't happen to good people !!

  8. Ur post really made my eyes wet... I only know good things go fast from our life....this is why he also went fast... He will make ur every dreams come true...

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  10. may his soul rest in peace.. super subek..

  11. UR Posts are Inspiring n enjoy readin them. I nw words are not enough to describe the true moments and can only imagine hw awesome those moments must have been. Jealous !!! Everest Skydive OMG!!! I truly respect ur thought that life needs to be lived to the fullest n in every possible way.
    Abt Subek, even though we just had a 15min of moment together as a complete stranger to one another, that moment to me defined hw great a person he was. I met him in the hills of Larpark village during Earthquake relief mission a week before the accident. Fortunately being an aviation enthusiast myself, i happened to be doing air marshalling for him during landing on the slope helipad. He had people of MAF flown in at ground zero n was waiting . All of a sudden we connected over a cigarette n had a wonderful chat, over aviation hw his flying hours had exceeded , the scale of destruction in the area n things like wat i was doing. I happened to be delivering all essential basics to the villagers and had been living there for a week or so on behalf of BELIEVERS as man on the ground,waiting for more supplies, helping villagers build temporary tarpaulin shelters etc. Then all of a sudden Believers happened to b a friend of his also. Then the talk went even smoother and comfortable. And this I'll always remember of him "Timisanga Churot cha ?" then i showed him a filter less cigarette Brand Name "Sahara". I said "i ranout of Surya and this is giving me Sahara Now." He Laughed in a giggly way and went into the cockpit pulled out a mini Pack of Surya from his Jacket and said u can have it. So this is hw i remember him and the kind of guy he was. That Packet of Surya for me at that moment n situation, was the most Luxurious item i possessed in that rural 2700m hill which i am very grateful.
    Subek u'll always be remembered n Farewell until we meet again for a puff.